Have you ever gone into an ice cream shop and decided to splurge on an ice cream sundae?
So many flavors of ice cream to choose and so many toppings! Generally you know what ice cream flavors you prefer and will select these. This is similar to determining your requirements in a relationship. In order to have an ice cream sundae you MUST have ice cream. Without ice cream you do not have a sundae! Requirements are necessary in a relationship; and are non-negotiables.
An example of requirements might be:
- monogamy/fidelity,
- loves children/grandchildren,
- nonsmoker,
- likes pets ( can be specific to must like cats or must like dogs).
If one of your requirements are not met then you should not pursue a relationship with this person. Ignoring your requirements will end up sabotaging your relationship at some point and should be taken seriously and be well thought out prior to starting a new relationship.
Next you need to add either hot fudge, strawberry or caramel topping as you continue to make your ice cream sundae. You can choose which ever topping you prefer, but must choose one. This is similar to a NEED in a relationship which can be categorized as either functional or emotional needs.
Examples of functional needs are
- good grooming and dressing well,
- financial responsibility,
- keeping agreements or
- shared domestic chores.
Examples of emotional needs could be
- affection,
- thoughtfulness,
- patience and
- appreciation
There are many needs in a relationship that are important and like the topping on a sundae are important to the overall relationship.
Last but certainly not least is the cherry on the top of your ice cream sundae. It just seems to complete it and brings a smile to your face. This is similar to a want in a relationship. If you don’t have a cherry on the ice cream sundae, it is still a sundae-but the cherry just completes it! This is similar to a WANT in a relationship. If your partner satisfies a want, it just makes the relationship that much more fun. If they don’t-the relationship can still survive and even flourish.
An example of a want is
- liking sporting events,
- enjoying the same type of hobbies or
- reading the same books.
Just like the cherry on the sundae when you have shared wants the relationship is much sweeter!
Conscious Dating helps you determine your requirements, needs and wants prior to starting a relationship. Being clear will bring you one step closer to finding the love of your life. Just identifying and knowing what you prefer will help you find the relationship of your dreams. Enjoy the journey.
PS: Eat the ice cream along the way!